My Fellow Friends, Today Is My Birthday…
I would be 19 if only I was human again. But alas, in reality, half of my life has come and pass.
Being a cursed cat, which God had turned me into after I pranked Him, I now realized that I have not much time to live. So I decided to make my last will and testament ahead of time for my Birthday.
But First, I would like deal with these people first:
Fireball- I will bequeath thee my moldy, dusty King James Version Bible I have not opened in these many months. Make sure you clean out the dust mites.
Christine Sundea- A lifetime supply of Ice Cream Sundaes.
Rooky- A Sticker that says "A rookie is better then being a trainee."
Chris- A Pass to Free Tour Guide of the Village area in NYC. May you find your inner gayness. (I meant happiness…)
And all of you shall also receive… a boot to the head.
Now, To the Following I shall bequeath in alphabetical order:
Almighty Atheist- My indomitable atheistic spirit. May it come useful when you get caught during the Inquisition.
Anarch- My Survival Tool Kit, with blowtorch and picklock.
animefreaky16- My collections of those little Anime character models, and the Princess Mononoke DVD.
Audra B Delight- My davenport. It’s black, and I stole it from wicked witch of the east.
Barack Obama- My very own Birth Certificate. Don’t worry, I was born in New York City in 1990. Yay, you are young again.
Blesses Cheesemaker- An authentic 16th century half eaten Cheesecake that was baked for King Louise the Forth.
Celes- My magic wand. I go it from where the wild things are.
D- My wine cabinet. You need to fill it up with some wine though.
Dana the Great- An actual Title. I give you a certificate that makes you the Duchess of Loften, Texas.
Dreamcast Entity 9/9/99- My very own Dreamcast console. Wait, I think it’s broken… oh well, it’s thought that counts.
Dr. Inaminate Phoenix B.D.M.S.- An actual Phoenix egg. According to my calculation, it’ll be another 500 years before it hatches.
Dr. Sigmund Freud- My settee. It’s a little scratched up…
Ethan- My Spy Kit.
Flying Ninja Girl, the- My authentic antique collection of Ninja Stars.
His Noodly Appendage- A piece of Relic of Noah, the first Prophet of His Noodlyness.
Gayboy Steppin’ in Swagger- My love.
Gordon Freeman- My lamp. It’s a very good lamp.
Geezah- My own rubber duckies. May it give you some companionship.
Great Gazoo, the- My ball of yarn, and my mugs.
Jeff S- Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Kjelstad 3.0- My potted plants.
Obey me or go to hell. Love, god- George Carlin’s left eye brows.
O8SERVER III- Galileo Space Probe model.
Oscar Effing Wilde- A Picture of Dorian Grey. He’s still looking for it, so I would keep it hidden.
Pantheist- A lifetime supply of pancakes.
Marlboro Man (insert number)- Gold, Incense and Myrrh.
MelloW YelloW HelloW- My bong.
Mr. Owl, PhD- My recto thermometer, and my stool (the one where you sit on).
Mrs. Owl- My blender, and my coffee maker.
Muhammed Asif- My aged Hummus, and my fencing equipment.
Queen Mortie- A coupon to this great hat store in Manhattan.
Radium Radiate: Student Again!- My Pencil sharpener, my ruler, and some notebooks. And also my electric fan.
Random Panther Kitteh’s Lover- A book of cute pictures of kitties.
Red- My hat, my mittens and my remote control.
Reverend Soleil, the- My map of the world, and a pair of dowsing rode.
Sea Kitteh- My black velvet eye patch.
Smooth Kitteh AY AE- Dr. Pepper fountain soda.
Smurfin Loves John Winston- Smurf action figures.
St. Punky- Metro Card, thermostat and a trip to St. Mark’s Place in Manhattan. Also, some money so you could buy something there.
Sweet Voltaire- Roget’s New Thesaurus.
Teapotistic Pastafarian- My IKEA bed that was stained my His Noodlyness’ sauce.
TEH TYME KITTEH- My extra F-U-N time I would’ve had if I was a human.
Try to relax- My personal masseuse. She’ll be passed unto you if I should be head.
Vettkinna- Priestess of Bacon- A Relic I came across. It’s a slice of bacon of Babe.
Wicked Witch if the West- My left paw. I bet you can make some good spells out of it.
xmarksthespot- The ultimate Sinchan Video Collection.
YooHoo- My lump of salt rock. It’s supposed to clean the air or something. Also, my butt scratcher.
And all of you are to be given my best gift of all… a boot to the head.
The rest of my estate are to be sold and donated to various charitable organizations around the world.
I want Mozart’s Reqium played during my funeral, followed my Imagine by John Lennon, All We Need Is Love by The Beatles, Rocket Man by Elton John, and any song from the musical Avenue Q.
My body is to be cremated, and my asses (excuse me, ashes) mixed into the firework rockets, which is to be set off on midnight. All of my contacts, friends and family members are to be present f
To the following people here that I have NOT mentioned in my will:
Dinner is served: My last dinner, and an cosplay sword from Zelda video game.
Alex the Great: My recorder I have kept since pre school.
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